Am I the Holiest?

In the Desert of Thebaides there once lived a holy man named Paphnucius. Every day of his life he strove to become more and more perfect, to love God more and more. He put himself whole-heartedly into prayer, sacrifice, virtue and good works.

Paphnucius’ desire to do and be his absolute best was very strong within him. So much so, that one day, he found himself wondering whether or not he was the holiest man on earth.

He asked God to show him if there was anyone in the world more perfect than himself. He was eager to know this, because if there was such a person, he wanted to find them and learn how to become even more pleasing to God.

Moved by his prayer, God answered with a clear inspiration. He informed Paphnucius of a certain city where he would find a man much more perfect than he was. So the hermit left his solitude, and went to the city which God pointed out to him.

When he arrived, he went to the market-place. There he saw a very poor man playing a street organ, and entertaining the people passing in the street. God made known to him that this was the man who was more perfect than he.

The holy hermit was astonished. He wondered to himself how this could be possible, as he didn’t see how a musician spending many hours in the street could spend much time focused on God. And yet, the organ-player was even more pleasing to God than this hermit who spent all day doing all he could think of to grow closer to God.

Clearly, there was more to the situation than met the eye. Paphnucius waited for a chance to speak privately with the musician. When the chance came, he took the man aside, and said to him:

"My good man, I am very anxious to know how you live. Would you tell me in what way you serve God? For God has made known to me that you are doing so in a way which is very pleasing to Him."

The organ-player stood dumbfounded.

"Reverend Father," he answered, "I am a very great sinner, and I cannot see how God can be so pleased with me."

He explained that in times past, he had been a robber. By the grace of God, he repented of his crimes. Now he spent his days with a humble and contrite intention. He strove to make reparation for his past life by spending all day at the humbling work of an organ-player on the street.

As the conversation went on, Paphnucius learned that even during his days as a robber, there was a streak of goodness in the man, which resulted in good deeds toward others. Thus it came as no surprise to Paphnucius that God, in His mercy, would reward these occasional acts of charity with the grace of repentance.

After this enlightening meeting, the hermit returned to his desert. He worked hard at pleasing God better than before, by the practice of every virtue he could imagine; and his continual prayer to God was this:

"O my God, make me become as good in Your sight as that man who plays the organ on the streets."

After a number of years spent in this way, he wondered if there was in the world anyone who could equal him now in perfection. So God gently gave him another inspiration. He told the hermit that, in a small village, not far from the desert, lived a married couple who were equal to him in virtue and merit.

Of course, he very much wanted to meet these people. He set out at once to the village, and found them in a very short time.


The husband and wife had lived a quiet, simple life. Although they had not done anything great in the eyes of the world, they had obtained much merit before God; for, throughout their thirty years of marriage, they had lived together in the practice of great virtues, with good works and kindness to those in need. The married couple lived in perfect peace with each other, both laboring together in their daily duties, and doing all for the glory of God.

Paphnucius returned to his desert home, pondering what he had learned. A poor man and his wife, living an ordinary life in the world, were just as pleasing to God as he was - he, an ardent hermit! Was he not doing enough?

He resolved again to do even more than before. He must become as perfect as possible, to make God as happy as possible!

Finally, after some more years spent in this way, he asked God if there was anyone equal to him in merit now. God answered him that, in a certain large city far away, lived a merchant.

Because the distance was so far, God did not lead Paphnucius to meet the merchant. Instead, God described and explained the merits of the man.

It was even more simple than the last displays of virtue. This merchant spent morning to night standing behind his counter. From his shop, he simply worked all day to sell his goods to his customers. The secret to his sanctity was the intention behind his actions. He stood in that shop and worked his best every day purely for the glory of God and to simply do His divine and holy will.

Now, with this third experience, Paphnucius found peace. He finally understood the great beauty he had witnessed and he thanked God for His goodness to us all. For it deeply touched him to realize that every human being has the chance to grow in great perfection. No matter their walk of life, each person can follow their God-given path so as to achieve countless merits and favor before God.

And Paphnucius indeed grew very close to Him. He lived so well, pleasing God so much, that he is now known as St. Paphnucius. Now, from Heaven, he certainly is glad to do all that he can to help each one of us, in our varied journeys through life, to reach our own perfection. Then, like him, we will be extremely happy together with God in Heaven forever.