"I Cannot Bear This Any Longer!" | |
One day St. Bernard went to see a man who was very ill. This unfortunate man was just as sick in soul as he was in body. He had never lived as he should have. Now that he lay so sick, possibly dying, still his heart was hardened against God. Bernard knew of the state of this man, and asked God very earnestly to show mercy to this poor sinner. So when he went to see the invalid, Bernard sat down at his bedside and began to speak to him about his sickness. The poor man was in such terrible pain that he tossed and turned in his bed. "Yes, sir," he told Bernard, "I am indeed suffering awful torments. Oh, I cannot bear this any longer - I cannot bear this any longer! It must come to an end soon!" Full of pity, the saint watched the poor sufferer in anguish, and very soon tears began to fall from Bernard’s eyes. The sick man saw him weeping. "Ah, dear sir," he said, "I see you feel for me! I see you are moved at the sight of what I am suffering. Isn’t my condition one to be pitied?" With sorrow in his voice, Bernard spoke to the unrepentant sinner. "Yes, my poor man, your condition is indeed one to be pitied, and I weep when I think of it. But my tears are not so much because of the state of your body, but because of the state of your soul. "I am thinking that in a very short time, perhaps in a few hours after this, your poor soul must leave the body, and then be cast into Hell for ever and ever, because you have not served God on earth. And I imagine that I hear your same words there, ‘I cannot bear this much longer!’. And yet it shall have to bear for ever and ever and ever torments infinitely greater than those you are now suffering. "Oh, how terrible are the punishments of God, punishments which can never end! And yet it is in your power to escape them, and you refuse to do so! Poor unfortunate man!" The Saint could say no more, his emotion was so great. He hid his head in his hands, praying and weeping for the sinner’s conversion. When he looked up, Bernard saw a change on the poor man’s cheeks; there were tears in the sick man’s eyes… but not of self pity. "Father," the sinner cried, "help me to be reconciled to God before I die, and pray for me that I may escape those endless torments." Bernard’s soul swelled with gratitude! What a miracle of grace! Thanking God profoundly in his heart, Bernard at once set himself to help the dying man make his peace with God. In the end, the Saint had the happiness of seeing the sinner turn penitent. And the conversion was none too soon. Only three days later, the dying man breathed his last… having the joy and victory of a good death. Now, in eternity with St. Bernard, with all of forever to spend in Heaven, his happiness with God is incredible and intense … far more than his sufferings ever were. |
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